Jonathan: The New Model

Many of us, when we first marry, wrongly think we will be able to "fix" personality "flaws" in another. Some of us wrongly assume things will never change. Reality is often very different.

When my husband and I first married, I thought his introverted personality and my extroverted personality would cause some moments of friction. After all, he wasn't going to desire socializing as much as me, and I was going to want him to communicate a lot with me. As it turned out, we did have friction over this area in our first year of marriage, but not the way I anticipated. Whenever I wanted to sit and read a book (and by read, I mean leave me alone for several hours please because I am completely absorbed in this), giving him what I thought would be quality alone time to recharge his batteries, he wanted to be right by my side and talk. Over time, this issue became a non-issue, but it created some disharmony early on in our marriage.

What happens, though, when your spouse really changes? When we first married, Jonathan liked to watch football and basketball, and occasionally would read, but didn't really like to, because, in his words, he's "a slow reader." He wore jeans, didn't really like to dress up (slacks would be dressing up), and enjoyed watching T.V. with me. He was a peacemaker at almost any cost. He believed in the doctrine he was raised on, but didn't really think it was a matter of great importance. He loved bread and was afraid of babies.

Now he wants rice (actually, that changed about six months into marriage. When you're raised on it as a staple at every meal, you want it a lot.) and loves the babies that come into our family (he's still afraid to hold the others--they might break). After careful thought and study, his doctrine has changed and he believes it is of vital importance. He still prefers peace, but will speak/disagree forthrightly when necessary. He doesn't like to watch T.V. much, unless it is UGA football--he's even given up a lifelong love for the Wildcats in basketball. He never wears jeans--thinks they are too uncomfortable (huh?).

The biggest change, however, has occurred in his reading habits. He loves to read, and does it almost all the time. I am not talking about some light summer reading here. Even while at the beach with his family during spring break this year, he could be found on the sand reading Mark Dever's 9 Marks of a Healthy Church. He reads at lunch, during the evening, whenever he has extra time at church or during a kid's sports practice. He has a voracious appetite for it.

But so far, I can still beat him at Scrabble!